“She achieved everything she wanted, and that’s why she ended up with depression.”
This was the unlikely conclusion to a story I heard during my last year of college. The story was told by one of our best professors, and I couldn’t believe the ending.
A woman who had always dreamt of becoming a prolific doctor and owning an apartment felt instantly miserable after succeeding.
So how can achieving your dreams lead to such an unlikely outcome?
We are wired to seek adventure
Our brains are wired for pursuit.
Dopamine, the chemical you hear about everywhere, is not released at its highest when we achieve something. It spikes most during the chase.
It is not the win itself that sustains us, but the quest that gets us there. Each step forward gives meaning to the day and makes us feel alive.
That is why challenges, even painful ones, quietly shape who we become. They carve out character.
So why can success still feel like failure?
Zombieland
Something I’ve observed in adulthood is the gradual disappearance of aspirations from the minds of my peers.
Life is so tough, so full of obstacles for most people, that the goal becomes simply managing to survive from year to year.
Jobs, bills, and family all come with responsibilities that can make it too difficult for people to find time to dream.
That is why many lose their spark.
They walk through life with no focus in their eyes, years piling up behind them, blurring their true selves into nothingness.
Some people never succeed and eventually stop believing they can. Others succeed, but then find themselves lost, confused, or complacent, drifting just like those who never made it.
Well, what the fuck do you mean, “drifting just like those who never made it”?
Didn’t they succeed?
It means success without a next quest leaves you directionless. Winning isn’t a final destination.
It is just one stop on an endless path of becoming.
Whether your quest is building a business, raising a family, moving off-grid, or even climbing the ranks in a video game, your spirit needs adventure. Without it, you zombify.
That’s why even millionaires who sell their companies can fall into misery afterward.
They won the game, then had no idea what to play next.
Continue to stumble
So, how do you think my professor helped the woman I told you about cure her depression?
Once the problem had been identified, they simply worked on helping her create a new vision for her life.
Soon after she took steps toward the new quest, the demon of depression was gradually extinguished.
Wild that succeeding can make you depressed.
Nevertheless, it is true.
So to avoid this kind of suffering, what you can do to continually thrive is make sure you always have a meaningful quest to pursue.
It is the thing that ignites the fire in your soul.
So make sure you never stop adventuring.